Having shared my own story to many of you around being hurt and bullied in the church, as the Preacher's Kid, to triumphantly healing, I’m gong to be sharing some tips for dealing with trauma today:
Talking about trauma can be unc
omfortable. It’s messy, it may evoke shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear and other emotions.
For the person who was traumatized, there is concern that their story will be rejected, or that they may be ridiculed, cast out from social circles, not believed, or maybe even hurt worse.
For the people hearing the story , due to their own insecurities, not all can handle hearing it due to their own emotional unintelligence so they may unintentionally try to rationalize your story or minimize your experience. This is THEIR defense mechanism. Don’t let their emotional unintelligence minimize your story.
Maybe they say things such as “that couldn’t have happened” or “that person must not have been a good person/Christian” as if the trauma is minimal because the person wasn’t a “Christian”. Or maybe they vomit churchanity on you and ignore your story with a “Jesus loves you anyway so stick a smile on your face.”
Let’s pause and address that. That is used a LOT and I have seen that a lot in my decades of working with people.
First of all, yes Jesus does love you, and you probably already know that. And if you don’t, He does love you and it grieved Him that you were hurt. AND, He is ok with you telling Him how you really feel about the experience. Try it out. Tell Him about the anger you feel, the hate, the hurt, the bitterness, the fear, etc. He gives you a safe space to talk while He listens and loves on you in that space.
Second, those responses are irrelevant to what you are speaking at the time. You need to be able to just share and someone just listen. If they can’t just listen, it’s not the best person to talk to.
Third, those responses are coming from their place of emotional unintelligence. Not everyone has healed from their own so not everyone is in a place to hear your story.
But, your story needs to be told, even if it’s to a professional like myself. Tell your story but be careful with who you share it with.
Some other key points to note:
Your experience was real. You get to own your feelings from the experience. The why and the who and the how are irrelevant to a certain point if it attempts to minimize what happened.
In order to heal, you must first acknowledge all of the emotions for what they are, and then your body will be able to release them. Once they are released, they are released permanently.
Once this happens, you can recall the events without trigger or panic or hate or fear or any other emotion.
You now have a clean slate to create the life of your dreams.
Learn more about how you can heal yourself by downloading my FREE e-Book, Releasing Trauma.
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