Healing from Grief
I have always been real and authentic with my tribe, and today’s blog will be no different. After 6 months of feeling off while successfully growing two successful businesses, being a support and listening ear for so many, trying to be a good wife and a good minister of the Gospel, I realized while talking with my Spirit-Led Coach, that I have been suppressing grief over a long period of time. I have taken care of everyone else, but put myself off to the side.
It came out in my session, and as soon as the tears began to flow, I realized this was it. I was finally uncovering why and how I felt like I lost “my best self”. For the past few months, I had struggled with food. Counting, criticizing, craving pizza, battling food, thinking that if I had a perfect relationship with food, I would feel like myself again.
But what I realized in the session, it was never really about the food. I had lost my joy. I had lost community, connection and had found myself isolated.
I knew things were off and I did Body Code, Bioresonance to get to the root cause, but in reality, I realized that I was skirting through the healing. I was disconnected from the emotions, and thoughts and going through the motions of healing so I could hurry up the process.
I mean who was I really to be angry and sad and hurt? Jesus experienced a much greater betrayal than I had so did I really have the right to cry, be sad, be angry, feel betrayed?
6 months later, I realized YES. Yes, I do have that right to feel those emotions. I have the right to grieve. I was betrayed and treated wrongly, and I have the right to be sad about it.
As I began to allow myself to talk with Jesus, to sit in His presence, and grieve, I realized it doesn’t hurt so much. I even took that day to allow myself to eat whatever I wanted, and all of a sudden, I didn’t want the pizza or the cheese, or the chocolate. The cravings began to dissipate as Jesus gave me this space to just be. Just the knowing how ok it was to be angry and sad and not have to hide that began to bring relief.
I don’t think we talk about grief enough. It’s not just when we lose a loved one through death. Grief can take many forms, and the healing process is not a straight path. God created us in His image, and He created emotions, and I’m learning on a greater level that it’s ok to feel those emotions.
Just like I am learning about myself, you matter and are valuable enough to feel the emotions that you feel.
You may be wondering what happened from here. Well, God, in His loving manner, gave me insight and love for that person I was 6 months ago. He helped me find her and expose her. She had been hidden but not lost. She was perfectly ok just the way she was. Just because she was rejected didn’t mean she should hide.
That Amanda began to surface from the ashes and has reconnected with current Amanda, and let me tell you, it’s beautiful. While Best Amanda was hiding, this current Amanda did some bold amazing things and the two combined are a powerhouse!!!!
I want to encourage you today. If you are grieving, grieve. Allow yourself to be exactly as you are. Feel all the feelings. Go through the process. When it’s time, you will release what doesn’t serve you anymore.
Allow yourself to be loved, to be cherished. Sit with Jesus, knowing He cares for you. He loves you so much and knows what it’s like to be betrayed, beaten, hurt, abused, lied to. He has felt it all too.
And if you hid a part of you in the shadows, let that person out. Let them shine. You are worthy, valuable, beautiful, extraordinary.
5 WAYS to GRIEVE
1. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings. Don’t rush the process, and don’t critique what you feel. Acknowledge it for what it is.
2. Find someone to talk to, a professional or a close friend or family member, who you can trust to listen to where you are. Talking out loud and acknowledging what you are feeling and how it’s affecting you can really help the healing process.
3. Do something you enjoy every day. Find something that evokes creativity, or positive emotions, something you really like to do, and try to engage in it daily, even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes.
4. Create a space in your home where you can pray, meditate, read, and make it a soothing place where you can go each morning to heal, restore, and renew your mind, body, and spirit. I personally have my area set up with my Bibles, my book I’m reading, my Healy, my Chakra oils, my Himalayan salt stone, my journal, and my phone and earbuds to listen to meditations, or binaural beats or praise music.
5. Write and burn. Write a letter to the one who hurt you, or write out all the thoughts and feelings you have been suppressing, and afterwards, burn it or shred it. The idea is to release it all from your body with only you and God seeing it.
Watch a live demonstration of Emotion Code and Body Code distant healing session and learn how you can unlock your own healing story.
Schedule your free consultation here.