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Can Grief and Joy Coincide at Christmas?

What kind of question is that, you may ask. Before Monday, I would have asked the same question, "What kind of question is that?" Until Monday, when in the blink of an eye I found myself asking the question and navigating through "How can grief, and joy coincide at Christmas?"

This past Christmas was a bittersweet Christmas.

On Christmas Eve, my husband and I had a wonderful trip home. We stopped for brunch and to shop. I, for the first time, in a few years, wasn't dysregulated in my nervous system being in crowds. I noticed in my body and with my emotions, that I felt better. I was more relaxed and at ease. My nervous system was regulated. I was in the best health. My emotions and spirit were calm. It was pretty amazing! It was absolutely wonderful! And still is, I might add!

I did better this year at handling my mom having Alzheimer’s and flowed through it instead of being angry that I can’t fix the situation.

We had a wonderful brunch with family. 

On the other hand, a dear family that is close to ours, we have been friends with the family (my dad is their pastor) for almost 40 years. The parents and my parents are very close. Like family. Their two daughters, one being 4 years older than me and the other 8 years older than me, that I grew up with died within 10 hours of each other by way of "natural causes". No one had ever seen anything like it. One fell over on Christmas Eve around 10pm and the second the sister around noon the next day.  Unrelated deaths. At this point, both listed as natural causes. 

We went and visited the parents and I , being a Feeler (Gift of Discernment), oh wow, I could feel every emotion. It was intense. I prayed in my spirit and commanded the spirit of death and spirit of sickness off this family, church, town and community (if you aren’t familiar with praying this way, I recommend Katie Souza’s sermons on YouTube). 

When we came home, I could feel their deaths on me. Thank you God for the gift of discernment, but days like this, um, God can you let me not have this gift?!

I called one of my best friends, Kathryn, and we talked about the possible root causes, and closed the story for me, energetically. It seemed less freakish and more oh. There were factors that didn’t play well together. We processed the story and gave it to God.

I could still feel those emotions on me, so she gave me a prayer to pray as I prayed and anointed with anointing oil all 7 chakra areas. I did a visualization seeing myself swimming in the ocean with the emotions falling off me. Finally, I washed my hands in salt and sat in God’s presence letting His glory fill me up. 

When I finished, my emotions were regulated and I felt joy and peace in spite of the circumstances. I could offer support and prayer and conversation now around the circumstances from a place of peace and healing.

I had never observed the death of grief and turmoil before as I did watching the parents shake and cry and moan in shock. Rightfully so. This was an unprecedented event. As my parents hugged them and prayed with me, I stood in the back praying.

I was reminded that day of King David. He felt many emotions of turmoil, grief, abandonment, depression. He felt all the emotions. And his body came through stronger than ever.

Our bodies are strong.

They are meant to experience emotions., to feel pain as well as joy. To feel sadness as well as excitement. To grieve as well as hope for a blessed future. 

Our bodies are meant to experience emotions.

This was a monumental moment for me to be reminded of Kind David by God. Sometimes, being a practitioner working with emotions, I wonder if we give them more power than they have. That day, I put emotions back in their place. They are an experience. They are an energy. But they can't take life. They just exist. And, they can be transmuted.

So what can you do if you are experiencing a trauma or, an intense emotional experience?

Here are 4 Tips to Process Emotions:

  • Feel the emotions.

  • Your body can handle it.

  • When you have felt the emotions for as long as you need.

  • Then go release them.

You can release them by:

  • Washing your hands and feet in salt.

  • Taking a walk.

  • Dancing.

  • Doing somatic release. 

  • Doing fascia exercises. 

  • Rebounding.

Remember to:

Acknowledge the emotion.

Feel it.

But don’t host it for life.

Give it a way out of your body. 

Release it. 

As this year wraps up, I am so grateful to God for His love, His salvation through Jesus, His blessings and abundance. His faithfulness. 

If you are experiencing grief, my heart sends you love and compassion and prayers. I am here if you need help to work through the emotions.

Much Love,

Amanda Surratt, BS, CECP, CBCP, CHLC, CHHC

Holistic Health Practitioner

P.S. Have you downloaded my free 42 Affirmation cards? This is my gift to you to share the love. Affirmation cards help us apply Biblical principles by coaching us to "Call those things that be not as though they were" and to walk out "faith comes by hearing". When we speak out the biblical truths of our identity and the promises of God's blessing with affirmation cards we become what we say and what we think ("as a man thinks, so he is").

Download your set today by clicking HERE.

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